Señor Rowe's Life Advice
On college:
“You should definitely look at all the colleges. Spread them out on a big table. And then you’re gonna look at which colors you like the best. What are their colors? And you should definitely go by the colors, you know. That’s how I choose my football teams! I don’t choose them by the players. Just by which colors I like the best. And then you go by the mascot, because let me tell you- any school that has a kitty cat for a mascot, that’s the one you gotta choose!”
On relationships:
“Um… No. Just… No. Who needs it?”
On fashion:
“Since I’m cheap, I just go to Goodwill and I buy all the stuff there and I tell people it’s ‘retro.’ And they fall for it! Yep. ‘I paid a hundred dollars--’ no, I paid five dollars for these pants.”
On pet ownership:
“Cats. Just cats. That’s all you need!”
On sports:
“I’m sorry, I don’t know that word.”
On school:
“Well-- if you gotta do it you gotta do it.”
